Daily Funs

Virgin Test

A young man was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.

The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel..'

The man was astonished and asked, 'So what do I do with these?'

The doctor replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint your one ball red and the other ball blue. If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw', you hit her head with the shovel.'.... .

Coincident Deaths

Two Women have just arrived in Heaven and are chatting at the Pearly Gates.

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! My name is Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. Instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and I finally became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer........we'd both still be alive!!

Sex in the dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figures she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent ~censored~," She screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . You explain the kids."
Right Spot

A drunk stumbles across an evangelical mass-baptism service by a river. He wades into the water and stands next to the preacher. “My son, are you ready to find Jesus?” the preacher asks.

“Yeah, sure,” says the drunk. The preacher dunks him under the water and pulls him back up. “Have you found Jesus?”

“No, I didn’t,” says the drunk. The preacher dunks him under for a bit longer. “Have you found Jesus?”

“No, I have not, Reverend.” The preacher holds the man under for more than 30 seconds. “By all the saints,” he says. “Have you found Jesus this time?”

The drunk, splutters, wipes his eyes and says, “Look, are you sure this is where he fell in?”